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(Stephen) Hi, I'm Stephen Puddicombe.

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This is another episode
in CFMWS' podcast series

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about grief and bereavement.

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In this episode,

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we take a look at a special resource

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for children of military members.

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April Young
is the Maple Leaf Camp Director.

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It's a camp for children
of veterans and serving members.

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The camp has many faces,

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helping children with everything
from limb differences,

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to facial differences, to skin disorders,

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to children whose mother or father
have operational stress disorders,

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to a camp for grieving children.

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(April) We're the camp for children

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who really are in the world
not knowing a lot of other kids

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who face their similar
but unique life challenge.

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The key is unique.

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It's pretty rare, some of these things
that the kids go through.

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By them coming together

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with kids who faced a similar challenge,

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already they have something in common

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where they don't even have to focus
on that challenge.

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Just by being together,
they realize they're not alone.

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They learn from each other.
They get tools for their toolbox.

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And also it's really amazing

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because they form these really tight bonds

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and these create friendships
that follow the kids home,

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which is our number one goal

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of each of these weeks that we do at camp.

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(Stephen) One of the ones in this topic
we are dealing with

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is grief and bereavement in the military.

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A lot of times kids get overlooked.

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They're all, "They'll get over it.

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They're only ten.
They won't really remember.

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They'll forget about it."

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But that's not really true.

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How are you helping to address that?

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(April) Right. Well, first of all,
I learned something long ago

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when I became part
of the helping grief community,

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and that's that children need to grieve.

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All grieving is a good thing for kids.

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They need an outlet because they feel it.

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And these kids, a lot of times...

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Everybody is afraid to upset the children,

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so they may not talk about it
in their home,

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but the children are already feeling it.

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Then they hold in their feelings.

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These kids become almost the caregivers

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of the rest of their family

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and holding it together for them.

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The thing is, with our camp,
it's a place where kids

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can just be able to be themselves
and be free and open--

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there's no elephant in the room--

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where they're there,
if they want to talk about it,

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that we're all there for them.

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It's a gift that their family member

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or their guardian can give them.

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It is a safe place to grieve.

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And as you mentioned,

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children's grief is a journey.

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How they feel just after their parent
or sibling has died,

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it changes the way that they grieve, 
over time and as they grow.

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And at our camp,

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we actually encourage the kids
to come back year after year

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on their grief journey.

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That's why we called the camp Camp Skein,

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because it's the flight of the birds

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as they support each other
in their flight,

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and they each take turns

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being the support and being the supporter.

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We have now camp counsellors

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who were once campers who were grieving.

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They're there to show the kids,
"You know what? There is hope."

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That is why the symbol
of childhood bereavement is the butterfly.

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It's the symbol of hope.

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(Stephen) April, this sounds
all well-intentioned,

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but it sounds sad.

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Little kids going to camp
should be canoeing

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and archery and swimming and...

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A bereavement camp.

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It just doesn't sound...

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(sighs)

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It's important but still,

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how do you get around that sad part?

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(April) Okay. Well, first of all,
I will say to you,

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on any given day, 
when you arrive at this camp,

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if you were to pop by for a visit,

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it is anything but sad camp.

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In fact,

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the energy is so over-the-top happy
and joyous and child fun

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that it is almost
abnormally happy that way.

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Now, I will say this,
is that when children--

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it's a phenomenon,

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and I'm not sure who to quote for this.

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I've heard it many times--

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that children,

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the way they grieve
is different than adults.

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With children...

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They call it,
the analogy is puddle jumping,

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where they'll be fine, fine,
happy as a clam,

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and then they'll jump in the puddle,

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and they'll get all wet,
and they'll be right there in their grief.

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And then they'll jump right back
out of the puddle again,

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and they'll want to play games,

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want to run with their friends
and whatever.

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The idea is, at our camp, yes,

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yes, we acknowledge the fact
of why they're there, right?

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Like I say, the elephant
right out of the room. No elephants.

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They come to camp,

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and right off the bat,
the first thing they do is,

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they had sent in photos
of their person who died,

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and they're laminated.

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Around the flagpole,

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which is the most important thing
we do at our camp,

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we stand in a circle as one big family

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around the camp in the opening night,

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and the children bring up their photo

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and hang it on a tree
that's attached to the flagpole

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and introduce who they are there with,
who are they there for.

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And then, every morning
when we raise the flag

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and every night when we lower it down,

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their person is right there
in the circle with us.

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They're there.

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And then, throughout the week,

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I would say it's about 80% fun
and friendship is what we do.

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And when I say fun,

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I'm talking sparkles, body paint, music,

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over-the-top fun, like 24/7, right?

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And then, the other 20%
is specific programming

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that is led by...

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childhood bereavement specialists
who come to the island.

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We are partnered
with Seasons Centre for Grieving Children,

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who bring their grief specialists.

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They're there to support the kids.

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We will do activities, usually one a day,

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but that's out of the 12-hour day
kind of thing.

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One hour a day where we do an activity

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that is child friendly
but opens communication,

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helps them explore their feelings,
realizing they're not alone.

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Such as we bring horses onto the island

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and call them healing horses.

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They learn about trust,
giving your trust to this big animal,

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and to lean on each other
as you're working with them.

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We do drumming,

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where they write messages
to their loved ones,

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and they put them
in these recycled ice cream buckets.

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That is duct-taped over,

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and they get to send these messages
out to the universe

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in a powerful drum circle with the kids,

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where they realize, "Oh, my goodness.

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There's so much power in numbers"

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and that we're all here to be a family
and support each other.

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Those are the kind of activities
that we pepper in

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to our canoeing and fishing with sticks

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and carnivals and dance parties

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and musical theatre.

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And all of that stuff, for 80%,

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the idea is it all ties together

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to give them the supportive experience

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with the grief support that they need.

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Even though there's no kid

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who's going to say,
"Sign me up for grief camp."

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It's not something that a child will say.

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When the family member or the therapist

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or whoever refers the child
and gets the child to come,

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they're the ones begging to come back

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because it is not sad camp.

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It is the most fun, supportive week

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potentially that they'll ever experience,

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and then they'll come back year after year

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and become a counsellor one day.

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(Stephen) One thing
people don't understand,

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that grief doesn't necessarily mean

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just a soldier dying overseas
in a combat zone.

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It can mean almost anything.

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(April) It's important, you know what,
there is a connection

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between the military and Camp Skein.

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Camp Skein is for any child in Canada

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who has experienced the death
of a parent or sibling.

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But we are particularly very blessed
to be on this show right now

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to reach out to the military community

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because our roots are in military.

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Our founders in 1955 was
the Canadian Council of War Veterans.

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We are firmly planted in our roots.

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Now, that being said,
we want to reach out to everybody

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because it's not just children
whose parent died on duty,

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for example, within the military,

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but they could have died for any reason.

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This is a very supportive,
loving military community as well.

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If there is a parent
or a sibling who has died--

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it could be for any reason,

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whether it's through illness,
accident, death by suicide--

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for whatever the reason is

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they will find a supportive,
welcoming, loving community

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when they come.

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We really just want to reach out
to the military family.

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(Stephen) [Then the] logistics.
What are they?

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How does someone apply to get into camp?

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Is there a cost? Are there time frames?

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(April) First of all,

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I guess it would depend
what part of the country you're in,

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because we are having, as I mentioned,

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a Camp Skein in New Brunswick as well,

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called Green Hill Lake Camp,

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and then one in Ontario.

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They're both the same week.

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I believe it's the third week of...

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the second to the last week of August.

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These dates are all on our website.

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What you would do, first of all,
is go to the big picture website,

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which is Camp Maple Leaf.

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It's <i>www.campmapleleaf.ca</i>

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When you go on there,

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you'll go into, I would like 
to apply to camp,

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into the campers we serve.

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You will look for Camp Skein,
which is week 8,

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for children who are grieving.

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And then, you will be picking

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whether you want to be in New Brunswick

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or whether you'd like to be in Ontario.

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And then,
it's a short application process at first.

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There's a whack of paperwork
that comes later once you're in.

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But right now, it's a short process.

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The idea is, we are a charity.

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I'll point that out
right from the beginning.

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We're a charity,
and we also are not for profit.

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What will happen is that we have a fee

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that is a fee of whatever
you can afford to pay of that fee.

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If you're able to,
it is 875 dollars for the week, okay?

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Some people choose
to pay more than that.

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That's fine. We have that option.

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Some people, that's too much of a stretch.

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What happens is,

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if you need funding, you check it off,

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and then you will be chatting
with our registrar.

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Pebbles is her camp name,
otherwise, Michelle Robinson.

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Basically, she'll work out with you

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what is a comfortable amount of a fee

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that would work
for your particular family.

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This way, it helps
the fundraised dollar stretch further,

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as far as it can go,

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so that we can be able to support
as many families as possible.

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Some people need the financial help,

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but some people just need the camp help

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but don't need the financial help.

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That's how that works.

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Right now, we happen to have
room in both camps,

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but they do fill up rather quickly.

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Just like all of our military sessions
in Ontario

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are at capacity now and are on a waitlist.

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In New Brunswick, there's still some room,

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but for Camp Skein,
it's going to happen as well.

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I would suggest people
put down their deposit.

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That will hold the spot.

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We will refund the deposit
right up until the week before camp.

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We just want you to be happy.

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You have nothing to lose
by holding your spot.

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(Stephen) Given the popularity
of your camps,

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is there a possibility of expansion

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in other parts of the country
in the future?

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(April) Definitely. I'm glad you asked.

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We're actually... It's on the plans

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that we're going to be expanding
to Alberta next year.

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So there you go.

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We're definitely
a needs-guided organization.

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Where the need is
is where we're going to be.

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Maple Leaf fulfill those needs.

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That's the idea.

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(Stephen) What about French kids?

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(April) Oh, great point.

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Predominantly, the organization
is made up of English speakers.

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I did take it in high school
and university.

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Didn't do so well.

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(laughing) But I tried.

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Well, what we do as an organization

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is we make sure
we hire enough bilingual staff

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so that the children, if they come
and they are French only,

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then they have
a camp counsellor in their cabin

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to help facilitate.

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It's actually really neat

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because the kids get a kick
of learning each other's languages

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of English and French,

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and the camp counsellor can make sure

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that everything is translated
in both directions.

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Everything we do,

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from the ceremonies at flagpole,
to the announcements,

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to the rules, to the fun skits

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are all in French and English

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when we have even
one French child at the camp.

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(Stephen) April, thank you so much
for joining us today.

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(April) Thank you so much.
It's been an honour and a pleasure.

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I'm so happy
that you've given us this platform

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to reach our military families.

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I really hope that they trust us
with their children's hearts,

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because we will do right by them.

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(Stephen) April Young
is the Maple Leaf Camp Director.

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You can find out more about these camps

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by visiting the web page provided below.

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Thank you for listening to another of C...